This is very interesting to me because the guy is saying that although he does not wanting to be a racist he still is, meaning that when he sees a black guy in a dark alley he still has all the same emotions he has always had except now he stifles them and forces himself to smile.
The thing about fear and negative emotions is that i have never been able to just wish them away through the force of my own will. (Similarly have never been able to lose weight using that method). The only way that my fear or any negative emotion has ever been removed is by me saying, "Dear Lord, this person/situation looks just horrible to me and i want to see it how you see it" and then instead of simply substituting what I think is a "better" thought or emotion for the one i abhorred in myself, to be COMPLETELY OPEN to the Lord's way of looking at the person or situation. This means not blaming myself for how i see it AND not blaming the other person for how they appear to me, which i have acknowledged to myself is is not the truth of who they are.
With this kind of practice, for me the only way to proceed has always been to start with the person in front of me. If i have an obnoxious teenage girl standing in front of me and my buttons are being pushed, after years of practice i can see how ultimately working on this will at some point lead to being able to pass by a figure in a dark alley in a space of love. Do not know if i can do it today, but definitely see how the practice of focusing on love does not hurt!!! Anger is anger and fear is fear. The more you practice seeing all things as not separate and equal in the eyes of the Lord, the more you will be able to relate to whoever is in front of you whether it is a just a dangerous-looking guy in the dark or a really dangerous-looking guy wearing a uniform with a gun. Don't know if i would be at perfect peace with any of these situations today, but i do know i am more at peace with everybody i meet or know than i was 5, 10 or 20 years ago and that is enough motivation for me to keep going with the practice of seeing only love :-) :-) :-)
nuff said thanks for reading. :-)
